Excerpt from

A Curious State of Affairs

by Jan Marshall
a
 

which she later licked off.
There was lots of laughter, I remember that. We didn’t say a word to each other until both of us had experienced an orgasm – although that didn’t take long!
“You don’t need that!” I said breaking the silence as I threw her book to the floor.
“Come here,” she responded, “I don’t want to waste any of those droplets of champagne.
She leaned over me, inviting me to take her beautiful firm breasts one by one into my mouth. I guess we’re back together I thought. We made love for the rest of the evening with a greed and randiness more suited to teenagers, only pausing now and then for a cigarette or to talk.
I can’t remember the exact words we spoke – it wasn’t a heavy conversation it was fun, silly and casually squandered because that was before we knew. We didn’t realise how precious and valuable a gift being able to talk to each other was.
Just before midnight she pulled my shirt over her naked body and made her way down to the kitchen to prepare us a bacon sandwich. I can recall it now – very fresh granary bread, crisp lean bacon and lashings of brown sauce and mustard. When she returned we sat cross legged like naughty truants having a midnight feast.
Such happy/unhappy memories.

I searched for that shirt after she died.

 

 
I turned the bedroom upside down scattering belongings to left and right, like a burglar in a hurry. I so desperately wanted to hold it close to me, bury my nose in it and see if any of her scent lingered in its fabric. Stupid really as it was washed so many times after that special day. I remember Lowis leaning against the door frame of our bedroom with a bemused expression.
“For God’s sake Stefan, what on earth are you looking for?”
Then later, “Oh that old thing – I threw it away ages ago because the collar had frayed.”
For some inexplicable reason I came the nearest I’ve ever been to wanting to hit Lowis when she said that – and I’ve never hit a woman.